I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
