if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
