Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
