Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
