Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
