there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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