After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
