How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
