My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
