thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize