How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
