She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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