You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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