and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize