Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
