ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
