I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
