that's an acceptable place to lick
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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