she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i think i have two assholes
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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