I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
