ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
