The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
