Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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