C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
3pm strippers are depressing
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
