Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
