just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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