i think my mom watched the whole time
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
