How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
