you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
