You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
