yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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