i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
