Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
