and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
now i know why i became what i already was.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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