I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
