"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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