We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
