Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
