God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can I color on your dick again?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
