So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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