...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize