so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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