Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
