brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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