If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We have started to decorate penises.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
