My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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