I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
