if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
