Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
