I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
