Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
