come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
