Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
