It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
