So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
