You work out of a Hotel?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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