I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
