So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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