just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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