So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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