soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
