Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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