I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
